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missing an old friend

a few days ago i had a dream about an internet friend, long-time readers of this lj may remember her; she went by different lj names: jevkis, jevkis_gryphon, cinnamon_squire, and aerofrost. she did some of the voice acting for my 2006 game alphasix. i was friends with her between 2005 and 2007, after which she sort of vanished from the internet without a trace; even taernost, who knew her in real life and was roomates with her for a time, doesn't know where she went (last he heard she was in utah or something). all her lj's are deleted, and her last comment on my lj was in 2008, as an anonymous user. haven't heard from her since. she wanted to be a monster designer for videogames.

i haven't thought about her in a number of years, but all of a sudden that dream caused her to be on my mind again, in a sentimental fashion. she was a pretty good friend, always positive and friendly, in a way very few people are. i know a lot of good people, and i think it's safe to say i've never met anyone more cheery. i think it's impossible for anyone to get to know her and not to love her (i don't mean romantically).

looking back over my emails from her, i regret not replying to a lot of them. she'd send me things like pictures of her pet claude (a hamster? hard to tell from the photo) or her halloween pictures, or a song she liked, or short stories that she wrote, and i was either too busy or too uninterested to reply i guess, because those emails usually have no reply from me. i guiltily imagine that if i had just put a little more effort into the friendship, or else been better at friendship back then, she wouldn't have disappeared from the internet so suddenly. i know rationally that that's unlikely to have made a difference, but i still feel terrible about it; sort of how, when someone dies, you realize how much you took them for granted.

i tried to find out what she's up to now by searching online, but found nothing. so i'm making this post partly just in case she one day googles her old internet names and finds it and sees fit to let me (and taernost and her other old internet friends) know how she's doing today.